First, I want to apologize for missing a day of posting. I haven’t been feeling the best, and I needed to give myself a little time to rest and take care of myself. I’ve been trying to stay consistent with the blog, but I’m also learning that consistency doesn’t mean ignoring yourself when your body or mind is telling you that you need a break. Sometimes, taking a day for yourself is necessary – and that’s okay.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about communication, especially what happens when you’re dealing with someone who always believes they’re right. There comes a point where you realize that going back and forth isn’t actually getting anywhere. You can explain yourself in ten different ways, give examples, tell them exactly how something made you feel, and try your hardest to make them understand your perspective. But if they’ve already decided that they’re right and you’re wrong, the conversation stops being about understanding each other. It becomes about winning.
And I’m learning that I don’t want every disagreement in my life to feel like a competition.
There’s a difference between having a conversation with someone who disagrees with you and having a conversation with someone who refuses to consider that your perspective might also be valid. Healthy communication requires two people who are willing to listen – not just two people waiting for their turn to speak. You don’t have to agree on everything, but there should still be enough respect between you to say, “I may not see it the way you do, but I can understand why you feel that way”.
When someone always has to be right, accountability becomes almost impossible. Somehow, every conversation gets flipped around. You bring up something that hurt you, and suddenly you’re defending your reaction instead of discussing what caused it. You explain why you’re upset, and instead of hearing you, they tell you why you shouldn’t be upset. Before you know it, you’ve spent an hour explaining, defending, repeating yourself, and becoming more frustrated than you were when the conversation started.
That kind of communication is exhausting.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to. I don’t have to keep explaining myself until someone finally decides my feelings are worthy of being understood. I don’t have to prove that my perspective matters. Sometimes, the healthiest thing I can say is, “I’ve explained how I feel, and I’m not going to keep going back and forth about it”.
Walking away from a pointless argument doesn’t mean the other person won. Silence doesn’t automatically mean you suddenly agree with them. Sometimes it simply means you recognize that the conversation is no longer productive, and you refuse to continue draining yourself trying to force understanding from someone who isn’t willing to give it.
I’m also learning that constantly needing to have the last word can keep you rested in conversations that should have ended a long time ago. There was a time when I felt like I needed people to understand exactly where I was coming from. I wanted to explain every detail because I thought if I could just find the right words, maybe they would finally understand me.
But sometimes, there are no right words.
Sometimes they understand what you’re saying – they simply don’t want to acknowledge it.
And that realization changes things.
These days, I’m trying to become more comfortable saying what I need to say once, clearly and respectfully, and then letting it go. I can’t control whether someone takes accountability. I can’t control whether they twist my words. I can’t control whether they continue believing they’re right. What I can control is how much of my energy I continue giving to the situation.
Not every misunderstanding needs another paragraph.
Not every accusation needs a defense.
Not every disagreement needs a winner.
And not every person deserves unlimited access to your energy simply because they want to keep arguing.
Sometimes maturity looks like realizing, “We’re not going to agree, and I’m okay with leaving it there”. There is so much freedom in reaching the point where being understood is no longer more important than protecting your peace.
So if you find yourself constantly going in circles with someone who always has to be right, remember this: you are allowed to stop the conversation. You are allowed to disagree without spending hours defending yourself. You are allowed to protect your energy.
Because sometimes the most powerful response isn’t another argument.
It’s knowing when you’ve said enough.
Until next time,
Between the Words
Leave a comment